What happened to our society? Why are people always offended? What happened to our “right to free speech”? What shifted that now has parents and teachers coddling children and having them believe that the world is a loving and caring place that will never upset them or hurt their feelings? What happened to schools teaching children the realities of life and how to function in a social environment successfully? Parents don’t want their children to be upset because then they would have to talk to their children and deal with the upset. When did this all start? My guess is February 2nd, 2004.
That is the day after the famous wardrobe malfunction brought to you by Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake. The entire country realized the next day that they can be offended as a whole. People will listen to them complain and whine. “Our children were watching!” was one of the many complaints heard the next day on the news and at the office. Parents complained about having to explain what happened to their children. “It shouldn’t have happened! Why do I now have to explain this to my children? Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!” Fast forward 20 years later and we live in the delusional society where people think that other people are responsible for their own emotions. Someone says something that offends you, then you and you alone are the only person responsible for making yourself feel better. Or be weak and hope that they will change. Have you ever had a bad habit that people in your life wanted you to stop? The more they wanted you to stop, the more you wanted to do it. So why on earth would we expect others to change their behaviors and the way they think and speak for us?
When Donald Sterling made racist remarks, everyone was offended and thought that he should change the way he thinks because our society is moving away from racism. They aren’t going to change. We need to wait for them to die and educate our youth. Slowly we can change society and empower it. Because right now we are disempowering it. Everyone is so afraid of offending everyone else that they have become cowards themselves and unfortunately some of these cowards are responsible for our children when they are at school. Then you have the cowards at home they choose to blame teachers when they are honest with them about how to help their children when they truly need help. Parents used to listen to teachers because they are trained educators and believe what the teachers said over the lies of their children. Now they believe the stories that come out of their children’s mouths and accuse the teacher of “calling my child a liar” because they create a false truth that they are bad parents if their children lie. All children lie. The smarter ones lie more often. Be careful because you might be “shaming liars”.
Shaming this and shaming that. “He made me feel this way. She made me feel that way.” I hope that someday people wake up and realize that none of that happened in reality. What do I mean by that and how dare I say that? We are the only ones responsible for how we respond and react. When you allow something to offend you, you become a victim of your own mind and instead of being responsible and working on yourself, you would rather blame anyone and anything but yourself. It’s called being a human being in this society. Think about the next statement carefully. If I cursed you out and said the most obnoxious, rude, vile disgusting words right to your face, but I did it in another language, would you be offended? Of course not. That is because your brain did not interpret the words and give them meaning so that then you can choose to become upset at the meaning that that you gave the words. When I present my school assemblies on how to stop bullying, the children understand that no one can bully them without their consent.
If you raise your children or teach your students in a way that teaches them the opposite of how society is, then you are doing an amazing disservice to them. If you don’t let your children be upset occasionally then how will they learn how to be upset as adults? If you don’t teach your children that there is disappointment in life, then what happens to them when they are disappointed as adults? If you don’t teach your children to defend themselves both verbally and physically against a bully, then what happens when they are verbally or physically bullied as adults?
I invite you to choose the well-being of the children in your life instead of your own selfishness and I promise you your children will live better, stronger, and more effective lives. I invite you to wake up and see what kind of child you are truly creating.
Greetings! This week’s post is about a topic that we don’t like to discuss and is extremely necessary. As a martial artist and an educator, I believe that having essential life skills like knowing what to do if a stranger approached us in needed. Not only for your children, but also as an adult.
The reality of life is that there are child predators out in the world and it is important that your children know how to protect themselves from strangers. As you send your child to school it is always a good idea to have information that will ensure they have a wonderful school day. To assist with this, we have the following tips for you and your children. Please take time out of your day to review these tips with your family.
The following are tips on stranger danger for kids to discuss with your child when they are outside the house.
I will always tell my parents where I am going and when I’ll be home and return home before dark.
I will always play or go places with at least one other person- NOT alone.
I know my body belongs to me. I will trust my feelings. I will say NO and run away from a situation that doesn’t feel right.
There are certain kinds of strangers that can assist me when I need help. For instance: mothers with children, other children, police in uniform or store clerks in the mall.
If you think someone is following you, cross the street and go into a store. Tell a police officer or a mother with a child. Don’t try to hide — go to where you know you can find other people.
If someone tries to grab you, kick, punch and yell: “NO! I don’t know you! You aren’t my Mom (or Dad)! Or Stranger, Help!”
I will walk and play at places my parents said were OK. I will avoid shortcuts or alleys.
I will not allow adults to trick or force me into going places or doing things like; help find pets, carry packages, take pictures, play games, or take drugs with them. I will always check with my parents first.
I will not accept candy, money, gifts or rides from any adult without my parent’s permission.
I will always lock my home and car doors. I will not tell anyone that I am home alone.
I will learn to dial 911. I will learn to use the pay phone without money.
I will learn my address and phone number.
I will always walk against traffic on the sidewalk.
The following are stranger danger for kids tips to discuss with your child when they are inside the house.
Many kids get home before their parents. If you come home before your mom or dad, make sure the first thing you do is call and let your mom or dad know you got home okay.
If you come home and a window in your house is broken or a door is open that shouldn’t be, don’t go in. Go to a trusted neighbor, or find a phone and call 911.
If you have to stay after school or want to play or study with a friend, tell your mom or dad.
Don’t leave your home without asking your mom or dad first. Make sure a parent knows where you are going and for how long. Always tell your mom or dad where you will be and when you will be home.
When your family is home and the doorbell rings, always find out who it is and ask your mom or dad before you open the door.
If you are home alone, never open the door — unless you can see that it is a relative or a specific person who your mom or dad said would come over to stay with you.
NEVER tell someone you are home alone, whether they call on the phone or come by your house. Ask your mom or dad what they would like you to say, like: “My Dad’s in the shower, can he call you when he gets out?”
NEVER give information to anyone over the phone about yourself, your family or where you live. Hang up on anyone who calls to bother you or who says bad things on the phone.
Ask your mom or dad for permission to go outside of your play area or yard or to go into someone’s home.
If you have a babysitter that hits you, touches you or makes you play games that embarrass you, tell a trusted adult, even if the babysitter told you not to.
Keep all the windows and doors in your home locked.
If someone tries to break into your home, call 911 immediately and give them your full address, including your apartment number if you have one. Tell them that you are at home and someone is trying to break in. Then, try calling a neighbor you know is usually home. If you can get out of the house, get out. If you can hide, hide.
The following are tips for parents to discuss and think about
Maintain current ID, including photograph, video and fingerprints.
Maintain current addresses and phone numbers of your children’s friends.
It is important to keep all doors and windows locked.
Do not advertise your child’s name on clothing, school supplies or backpacks.
Knowledge is power and knowing what to do in a situation involving a possible child abduction is extremely important in this day and age. If you are ever looking for school assembly ideas to assist you in teaching your child what to do in a stranger situation we offer a powerful “Outsmart the Stranger” assembly program that can be brought into your school or camp. Visit our website www.outsmartthestranger.com to learn more about the program. Recommending this program to your school and camp can help save a child’s life. We hope you have a wonderful rest of the school year. Stay safe and take care from Shua Life Skills.